Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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