I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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