dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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