No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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