In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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