She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
