I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I will pee on everything he values.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
