Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
