Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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