there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
