We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
