Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
