If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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