Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed