First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wish i was in the wii world.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you