Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
