when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
