I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
