Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
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I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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