butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
