I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
