I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
