Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
