I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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