I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
