So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
