she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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