Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
