i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i wish my penis had a tongue
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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