she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
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I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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