it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I party with great urgency now.
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