I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
