Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
