I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
