I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
