you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
