Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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