JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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