theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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