That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
