ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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