Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
