did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
