he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
