Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
