So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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