I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
