I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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