Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
