THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
be right there i have to get my cape
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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