The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize