Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
