Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize