just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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