Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
wow bdsm is so cute
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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