I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
