Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
