woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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