I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
