She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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