how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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