I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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