If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
