somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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