I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I AM VODKA MAN
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
