Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
