My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
