So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
