i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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