so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
