i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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