Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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